(by Laura Harkrider)
Einstein has been asleep and wakes up groggy from his dream in his afterlife – in the Between of the Cosmos…
He thinks to himself:
I am living a human life, in my dream. My name is Will and I’m alive in 2019. Do I really have a human life as well as being here in this Between?
I remember now. In the dream, I’m talking with two friends. I think we are mapmakers… We make maps for other humans to use when they are ready. But people can be afraid of change and there are enemies who want to prevent – the ‘new’ from unfolding…
Einstein becomes sleepier as he tries to recall more of his dream until he falls asleep and tumbles back into the dream:
Will is sitting with James and Luci out on a terrace high enough on the edge of the mountain to reveal the stillness of the ocean’s reach for eternity… They are engaged in deep conversation around a table together, drinking wine and eating goat cheese and olives…
Will looks back and forth – at James and Luci:
I think we have an unhealthy relationship with the future. Otherwise, why would this president still be in power? We allow him to be here.
Is there something we need to see? What does this man engender in us? He spawns fear in most people. Are we afraid of the future? Are we afraid of growing older?
Well, since this president wants to scare us, he can not be a friend… he is acting as an enemy… Friends do not provoke fear in us. Let’s think about it. What does an enemy do? Not only does he provoke fear reactions, but he will also try to keep our patterns of fear in place. He will tell us that we will always be left out… or that something disastrous will happen any time now….
Also, our enemy takes the avenue of least effort and this leads us into struggle and pain. Enemies want something for nothing, which results in leaving nothing for anyone… at the expense of many… And they steal the heart and soul of themselves and others who care for them.
I’m thinking also of how enemies want revenge. They want to punish and hurt. And they are never satisfied until the source of their envy is gone…
So our president is definitely our enemy. These behaviors describe him. But why do we allow an enemy to be our president?
If we had owned our own enemy inside ourselves, maybe we could have created a different president… I have a feeling that a good first step would be to forgive ourselves for allowing our president to be our enemy…
Forgiveness is so important, and it is a beginning, as well as a bridge… I agree with you, Will. But whatever our reasons were for allowing the president to be our enemy, we can look to the future now rather than try to fix something we messed up.
I want to have a dialogue with an enemy inside me. I want to ask him why he wants to scare me so he can manipulate me to give him what he wants… And why does he want to take my power, strengths, and talents… and use them for his own benefit? I also want to ask him why he has greater stamina than I do… when he takes over my life?
I’m wondering what I am feeding this enemy to keep him alive inside me and allow our current president to hold his office? Am I giving my creativity and imagination to this enemy? Am I giving him my hope… or my happiness…? Maybe I am giving this enemy too much of my attention.
And if I pause… and take these back, how will my enemy respond? Will he threaten me? Will he tell me that I need to create pain and struggle because when I am happy and everything is going great, something will take it all away? Is my enemy trying to manipulate me to give him my freedom… my happiness… or my sense of belonging to something beautiful?
Is this part of his message for our country too – that we have to separate ourselves with a wall so that all of those immigrants do not take away our good life? So our enemy whether he is our current president or a part of us… keeps us isolated and separated. He keeps us frightened and suspicious. And he is siphoning away our life force… our happiness… our joy… our power…
I have a thought. Maybe if we look at what this president stands for- as our enemy… we can use this as a marker to help us figure out what we value least and therefore open us to what we most value and to what matters most to us.
Yes, this is on target, Will. Let’s begin with his demand for a border between us and Mexico… He is advocating separation, isolation, and mistrust. He has been separating children from their parents and not even bothering to keep track so they can be returned to their parents later. This act is devoid of caring much less having compassion for those people who have come here because they are already suffering and endangered.
Maybe the message here is to accept how much caring and compassion are a part of who we are… and how we value a sense of belonging for ourselves and for all human beings… that we all are a part of something greater than any ‘one’ of us. We want to open our arms… not arm ourselves with walls and weapons…
I can see more now… how we need to accept that caring and compassion are part of who we are…
In the past, we have separated and isolated ourselves when we have felt threatened… instead of reaching out, communicating, and bringing a sense of belonging to the moment. If I can own that separating and isolating myself is an internal enemy of mine… and change this… maybe I will not need this president to continue on…
Think about the earth and how the president has eliminated regulations so that the oil and chemical companies… the coal industry… can pollute our earth without consequences… and how businesses and people can throw plastic into our ocean so that our fish are filled with pieces of this plastic which we then eat. It hurts deeply to know the fish, dolphins, whales… all of our sea beings… are suffering because of us…
We also pollute ourselves with the thoughts we have… with the food we eat… with old habitual feelings… with our self pity… our martyr… We might have someone close to us who pollutes our life with their with negative feelings and erroneous perceptions.
If we own this as our enemy, we can change our behaviors… our thoughts and feelings… We can change what we feed ourselves – and what we allow others to feed us – physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually… And Will, we can stop dumping plastic in the ocean. We can innovate ways to clean it out… We can call the ancients to help.
I’m thinking about how the president and his Senate are trying to fill our courts with biased judges who support his conspiracy theories and the alt-right mentality… so that they can control the legal decisions and laws… to support a fundamentalist conspiratorial right-wing religion which believes that this president is their future king. They do not want a democracy. But they do not understand how they would set themselves up to lose more than they can imagine. These people are lost.
So I’m asking myself. How many times have I acted like I am king… promising myself that I would have a more fun and happier life if I abdicated responsibility and allowed my negative ego or my adolescent to take over… with their faulty perceptions of life… at the expense of what is good and true? How many times have I tried to get others to let me be their king? When I see this king function as my enemy, I can free myself.
We are on to something here.
I think of how the president substitutes real love with a kind of trophy wife mentality. He doesn’t express love for his wife, rather he uses her to boast. He uses the feminine to service himself… and threatens her when she doesn’t respond to his demands. He wants to oppress and dominate the feminine rather than receive the richness, beauty, and complexity of who she is…
How do I diminish the value of my feminine qualities of intuition… imagination… perceptions… and instead, try to manipulate myself… or rely on logic and reason alone… so I don’t have to feel confused or have self doubt? When do I insist on using my ‘known’ perceptions so I don’t have to feel the discomfort of not knowing… of sensing something unknown?
The questions I am asking myself now are: do I give more value to what I have accomplished or to how much money I have accumulated… rather than to give more value and acceptance to who I am being… to the grace of my giving… to the depth and breadth of my love… to the Love – I am Being…?
Can we accept more of the love we Are…? Can we accept the beauty and power of our intuition and our imagination?
Can we challenge ourselves to trust our perceptions, whether others agree with us or not… to honor what we sense to be – good, true, and beautiful… even when we don’t have all the answers?
If I realize that I am on the wrong track, I can let go of my perception… while remaining in relationship with those who are significant in my life… so I do not isolate us from one another, even when we disagree. I can stay engaged passionately in my life… with those I love and value… and with the welfare of my country and of my world…
One thing we haven’t talked about yet is the level of corruption and entitlement this president has. He believes that he can do anything and get by with it because he is ‘entitled’. He is a chauvinistic and compromised privileged man. It is ok to lie, cheat, manipulate, to oppress, dominate, and devalue others… It is ok to steal money and to renege on agreements… It is ok to deceive…
And along with this way of life, he sees the world as – out to get him… So it is ok for him to be paranoid and mistrust the intentions of others… to hurt people and denigrate the significance of their lives… This is how he can let babies be ripped apart from their mothers… and little children die of dehydration… and how he can spray tear gas on innocent groups of immigrants at the border… This is how he can turn his head away from a tyrannical regime who murdered one of our journalists because he criticized the country in which he was born.
As I describe this, I can’t relate to this being inside of me.
Look at the function, not just the form. How do you deceive yourself into making choices that diminish the value of what truly matters to you or someone you love? Where and how do you mistrust others in your life and in the world? Where can you become paranoid? How and when do you judge others who differ from you such that you separate yourself off from them and become unkind… or dismiss them?
These are the kinds of things I look at.
Think of how this president insults others and tries to make them feel useless and valueless… to have no significance… We see how he tries to humiliate others when they don’t go along with his plans…
Do I dismiss others when I strongly disagree with them… or do I allow others to do this to me? If I can own this enemy inside me, I can change and come to accept the depth and the immense power of my kindness… my caring and compassion… and my understanding… because this is more real about who I am… about who we all are…
Just think of how much of our creativity and imagination… we have given to these limited painful choices and experiences. Have you ever imagined terrible futures where this president gets re-elected and damages our country in ways that may not be possible to heal…? This is an example of how we give our imagination away to our enemy.
What would happen if we allowed our imagination and our creativity… to ‘be imagined’ and created by our future self – for us…? We can accept a more exalted imagination… and we can create a life we cannot yet believe to be possible… We can allow all of this to be more of who we Are…
We are gathering… receiving… accepting the jewels… the light… within the darkness. When we do this, the standing wave of the old resonance breaks up. It can not hold its pattern. It is so much about the resonance, isn’t it?
Yes, Will. And I don’t think it is about blaming this president or ourselves. It is not about making him ‘evil’.. or ourselves ‘bad’. We can use his behaviors as hints and markers for the directions we value as significant and meaningful. We can get to know our own internal enemies and turn them into allies so they can help us see potential pitfalls and to become clear of directions we do not want to take.
We can take back our creativity and our imagination… the clarity of our perceptions… We can accept our true will… and our more luminous intentions…
Our journey can be about discovering who we Are… We separated to find ourselves… but it was never meant to be this painful. We can take back the power we have given our enemies and use this power to create ourselves new.
Yes, we can challenge our strengths, power, and talents… with the richness and complexity of life’s experiences… And our entitlements can drop away… Instead of trying to control others, we can become reliant upon ourselves… and others can count on us. We can create and innovate instead of judging or intimidating…
And we can dream new dreams… born out of numinous futures… out of unknown futures that we can not yet imagine… We can allow the unfathomable futures to have more influence in our lives…
Our futures are all happening now. I hope that more people come to understand and accept this so they can learn how to attract the beautiful and unfathomable futures instead of falling into the force and allure of futures filled with struggle and tragedy.
I believe it will be important to forgive ourselves again and again as we change… And just as important – we need to ask for help.
Will pauses and picks up his phone as he often does throughout his day – to check his Apple News updates. He gasps as his eyes tear up. He turns to James and Luci.
The president resigned today. Everything is different now…
James whispers in response:
There is magic in the telling… And could there be a grace of magic in our telling…?
Einstein wakes up from his dream. The morning light is radiant… even in the afterlife… in the Between of the Cosmos…
copyright © 2019, Lyn Marsh, Ph.D. all rights reserved. You may not reproduce written materials without permission from Lyn Marsh, Ph.D.